“The Blessings We Give” by Mike Lueth

This past Christmas, our daughter Jennifer and her husband Alfredo came to stay with us over the holidays. Since getting married nearly two years ago, this would be Alfredo’s first trip to our home. It’s been five years since Jen had moved to the Dominican Republic to teach first grade and last year they were unable to make the trip back. So this was going to be a very special visit and Joyce and I were looking forward to the time we would have together with them. I was also hoping for some good old fashion Midwest cold and snow (to give him the full experience), since this would be Alfredo’s first visit to Chicago during the winter months. However, I had to settle for a mere 1½” of the white stuff and relatively mild temperatures (but they still had fun shoveling the driveway and even managed a short, but spirited, snow ball fight). They had lots of activities planned for their relatively short visit – sightseeing of Jen’s old apartments and haunts in the city, a work related dinner party in Chicago, friends and nearby relatives to meet, a few special gatherings planned, the theater, Jen showing where she grew up and the celebration of their 2^nd anniversary; not to mention Christmas itself. But at the top of their ‘to do’ list was a visit to Jen’s only surviving grandparent (Joyce’s mom) up in Rhinelander, WI.

Due to their already full schedule, this meant we would make the 4½-hour drive up and then back again on the same day, and the weather was cooperating for the nine-hour road trip. We arrived pretty much on time at the assisted living facility where mom lives. As we walked into her apartment she slowly rose from her recliner; as arthritis and general declining health weighed down on her 90 year-old body. Tears filled her eyes as she reached out to hold Jen, telling her how much she loved and missed her. Then her full attention turned to Alfredo, now almost crying, as she spoke:

“How I’ve been waiting to see you!”

“I just knew Jen would pick out a good one!”

“I love you so much.”

“You’re going to be such a good husband for my granddaughter.”

“I am so glad you were able to come and see me – I love you so much.”

“You two are going to have a good life together.”

As I witnessed this litany of expression, I realized in that moment she was not only verbalizing a genuinely felt love and affection for this man she had never met before, but with her words she was blessing him as well – giving her blessing upon him, their life and their marriage together. And I remember thinking at the time, “Way to go, mom!” She bestowed her blessing upon Alfredo (and gave confirmation to Jen) – this was a good man and they had a good future ahead of them.

One of our Christmas traditions is listening to an audio version of Max Lucado’s You Are Special – the story of how God loves us for no other reason than that we are His (in contrast to how people have the propensity to judge one another first). And the parallels between Lucado’s story and mom’s actions struck me as, she loved Alfredo for no other reason than he was now hers – part of the family over which she is the matriarch. She had no thought to first take time to sit and talk, get his views on the current political climate or important issues of the day. She had no time or desire for any of that – love came first.

We had a nice visit and were able to spend over four hours with mom before we had to head back home. It had been a good visit, a very good visit. And because of poor health, it is not unlikely that this visit will be her last one with Jen and Alfredo. Maybe she considered that possibility as well. But who of us know the number of days allotted to us? Life is fragile and sometimes fickle. Although this is probably not a thought at the forefront of our mind on most days, one of these days it will be our reality. Time is precious and so is what we do with our time. Will Alfredo forget the love and acceptance he received from Jen’s grandma that day? I suspect not. God said the greatest two commandments are to love Him and love others – all the laws and prophets rest on these two. It is a priority to God; it was a priority to mom that day.

Let me wrap this up by saying I’m going pray a blessing on each of my family members every day this year and I’m also going to try to find at least one other person outside my family to bless as well – someone to ‘love on’; perhaps a friend or a colleague or maybe just a passing stranger that I say a silent prayer over (a brother or sister in our Christian family). Want to join me? Let’s look for the love and blessings we can give now – they may be our legacy; as nothing was more important to God.